The Epic AOSC Tale... sentence by sentence.

[PRincess]

The giant gay parade in Myrtle Beach only to be caught by the bikers and chased into

[Inked]

the only gay bar in myrtle beach owned by

[Dominum]

Panzer. Unfortunately that just meant that the ban hammer crushed all of them and created a giant crater that promptly filled with seawater causing...

[PRincess]

The Adminigod to laugh like a fool and fall of his pony ensuring that...

[Dominum]

his ass hurt for several days.

Expectedly, FEMA and various other government agencies reacted to the catastrophy by...

[splatmaster]

Standing around talking about what should be done, then lamenting over the fact that they just don't have the time between fundraisers. However, John Wayne came back from the dead to

[SteevoLS]

bring back Ronald Reagan from the dead. At this point, Reagan promptly overthrew the current regime and appointed Chuck Norris to be the Secretary of Foreign Affairs. His first task was

[von_lounger]

to pull the lone survivor, Von Lounger out of the rubble, then jump over the North Pole to Moscow, to crush Vladimir Putin and his plans for Russo/neo-soviet world domination.

[Tzer1993]

Chuck Norris completed this task in a matter of 2 short hours, because that's how Chuck Norris does things. His mission would have been completed sooner if

[Esteban]

his kumquat garden were ready for harvesting. Trevor always knew he could juggle Churck Norris's kumquats, but today he felt...

[von_lounger]

pissed as a wanker.

[Tzer1993]

So Trevor shot Chuck Norris but the bullet ricocheted and wounded a G.O.A.T. This made the G.O.A.T want to

[Bushmaster]

blow up the whole world, but his plan was thwarted by

[idiot88]

...Pee Wee Herman who rode by on his bike and snatched the atomic bombs from him.

[demondawgdawson]

BUT! Accidently blowing up the bombs in the process, thus...